Choking.

Hmm .

And so -- an interesting point in my life just occurred.

I'm on the phone. I mention a specific item that one person would want back from me. And she says, in a quite indifferent tone -- " I don't want it back ".

Hot diggity damn.

So, that caught me off guard. I stumbled for a bit to find my place. Like.. other then the fact that it's totally unexpected. Uhm.

THAT HURT LIKE A BITCH.

^^^ that was a slight outburst.

Basically, I've been looking for signs as to if she cares, or any indication as to whether I am wasting my time even trying to voice my feelings onto her.

And she proves.. once again, that I am wasting not only time, but strength, and in the end, wasting my heart on someone who throws it away oh so casually.

I don't know why I fall so easily into these stupid little traps. I don't know why I even let myself get the slightest inclination that she may have feelings for me.

It'll only let me down.

Ehr. I believe. This is going on.. the fourth or fifth time.

Aren't I a smart one?

SIDEBAR: This blog post was initially suppose to be dedicated to my amazing weekend that I just had, spending time with my family and such, however, this matter has dominated my entire being.